4/2/10

and then it's 2010...time flies...and still continue to fly...i always wonder when will time ever stops...when Jesus comes back??golly...and i'm still with this blog...though i post mostly in wordpress...guess i am not the type who abandons my old stuffs??(God knows that's not true...lol)

oh...i like writing btw...i really do...but the prob is...like i've mentioned it before...i'm never good in writing...ever...and besides...if i were to ever write it's better for me to 'blog' in my diary...cz my friends will always 'complain' to me that my post is too long to read...even i felt that way too...lol...(why am i always complaining bout the same thing??lol...=_=''')

anyway...since uni/college...i guess many things has changed...at least for the past one year i guess...i mean especially last year...talk about friendship probs, family probs, spiritual attacks etc etc etc...you name it...all happened just within one year...lol...i dont suppose anyone will experience that huh...i mean...everything just comes in a row...like a drama...and it makes me wonder...

i kinda post it in my fb...like...is it possible to make a drama out of reality when reality feels like a drama?i dont doubt so...or so i post there...but sincerely in my heart...i really am not surprise if this can be done...i mean..since life is like getting shorter and shorter as years flew by...and the end is coming...or at least that's how i felt and thought...why cant we humans try to bring some fun into our lives instead of the always same routine of getting up, wash up, head to wherever we're suppose to go, comes home, eat, sleep and continue the same routine over and over again?!!

i admit i'm never the type to do the same thing over and over again...i like to do different things...and i like to think different...and i like to act...though my chances of getting to act is always very limited...and so...yea...since drama cant have me...i'd like to bring drama into my life...i mean...yea...i'm different...and i'm not what a normal person would think i am...

sometimes i do wonder...what if...and i'm just saying what if...i'm really special?i mean as in really special...special than the normal kind special people...not to say i'm God or what...and not trying to discriminate the special people(if you know what i mean...)but i really wonder what if i AM special...like something great is waiting for me...i guess i'd be...wow~!!erm...i guess most of you are confuse now...nvm...let me try to explain...

alright...erm...i have to admit it myself actually...though it's a humiliation for the present me here...but i was a really smart genius when i was young...lol...and i mean really smart!!i was born earlier than expected actually...meaning...i was supposed to get out of mom's womb later than jan...and not jan...but thanks to big bro...who...accidentally knock mom while playing with her...i ended up being the january baby...and not the later one...or not...i guess i'll be joining sarah as the may babies...if possible though...heh... =P err...that was told by my mom though...and then...dad tld me that i started walking by myself when i was just 9months old!!imagine that...and that was confirm by my mom...that all of a sudden one day i just picked myself up and started walking...though of course not the proper one la...but at least is the kind where you dont need anybody to hold you...lol...

and oh yea...when i was like 4...i started to learn to understand what adults talk...lol...not the dirty ones la of course...lol...but yea...i can actually understand what my parents and relatives and their friends talk about...as in understand the meaning of it?i remembered i used to imitate that to my big bro...but he was so much more simpler than me...and i'd end up like a fool trying to do some dumb acts to a boy who's only understanding at that time was the abc songs and legos...not to mention power rangers and ultraman...lol...and...i really have to admit this...i was really quick to understand and absorb something...it's like...i'm kinda good at self-teaching...before the teacher finish teaching a certain topic...i'll understand the whole content already...lol...crazy right...and since i was alone in the hpuse most of the time last time i used to watch tv...and since most of the shows at that time were of different languages...i kinda pick up those language...example...i could speak spanish fluently last time...lol...not now though...how sad... D': and then when i was 5...i used to join the 6years olds for chinese classes...erm...even my mom used to tell me now...that she was very shocked at my ability to absorb something just within minutes if not seconds...she'll said i was always good at repairing things and solve probs on my own...she told me that even when i was just a baby...i would not cry even if my mom left me at a place alone unlike big bro who'd cry for my parents even when he's 6 already(i remember seeing him cry...that's why i said that...lol...)shows how soft my bro's heart is huh...hah... =) mom said i was just too independent that she sometimes thought is it really alright to leave me just like that...lol...though...truth to be told...that does not really apply to me...lol...i guess...i mean...to me at that time was this...in my thoughts:if mom leaves me at some place...surely she'll come and pick me up later...so why need to make such a big fuss over it?...and that's why i seem to be 'independent' in mom's eyes...lol...

okay...those...were just the physical part of me...or so i think...but there are things that are not known to many people...including my family about me...i can be considered as someone who's secretive yet not secretive at all...if someone would just ask...i guess i'm willing to tell that person about myself...if only they ask...but that...of course have to depend on who's asking...lol...i may or may not...tell the whole story...back to topic...err...yea...like i said...i am not what i am to many people...i am what i am to them is because that is what i want them to think and see of me...if i want a person to see me as a boring person...there you'll see that the certain person will describe me as someone boring...but if i want someone to think and see me as someone who can play around...there you'll get that...and that's me...no...i do not fake myself nor my personality cz fakers tend to be exposed one day and i am very well aware of that...i just dont show all my sides to everyone i see...that's all...every single one of the characters i showed to different people...are just small parts of the whole part of me...lol...

and yes...i started doing that since young...i kinda consider it my talent...and that's why i dare to admit...i am a good actress...oh btw...if you ever thought i am going to say more of what people might or...will not expect of me...then well...you'll only get disappointed...because i've said too much...i guess...and yea...you've know me enough to guess what else i can do...lol...not magic stuffs so there's no need to think so far...lol...and yes...all the personalities i showed to my friends...are genuine...unless it's someone i dislike or dont feel like having anything to do with...so no...i did not fake myself in front of them...though many thought so...hmm...that is why...i really really do wonder...if i am really someone special...lol...anyway...just one last sentence...

i am not what you think i am...

p/s:oh if you're wondering the reason why am i not as genius as before...well...the answer i guess would be...erm...God sealed the genius part of me...cz like mom told me...if i were too independent...i might not depend on God in the future...and God doesnt like it...and yea...i kinda think it's alright cz...at least i have God on my side... =D though i always thinks that it'll be great if i can still be as smart as before...lol...bye~

hmm

i do wonder...who would actually still come back here to read my post?lol...anyway...it's just a for fun thing...nothing much...compare this with wordpress?i prefer the latter...lol...cz i just felt...man...this blog of mine...too complicated with too many wordings...lol...(what to do...the owner jere loves writing actually...lol...=.='')the wordpress is much more simplier...with mostly pics and less wordings...lol...

anyway...year end's like...so sosososososososoooooooooooo near?! times has evolve into some monster with a speed comparable with the speed of lighting man...lol...it's year end already... @.@!!! and i still remember when i first came in to BUCH...lol...meeting with wonderful people...creating unforgetable memories...man...i definitely am going to appreciate those memories...heh... =P

btw...i guess...the affected friendship between sam and i is slowly recovering??at least to me la...cz at least we can now talk to each other without feeling awkward....lol...though i guess...we can never be as close as we used to in the past...aih...what a waste...i used to talk to him bout lots of stuffs cz i can only really relate to him and jon without any worries and just be myself...now only left jon... =[ ....not to say i cant relate to the other youths la...it's just my prob...i have communication prob...lol...i tend to send out the wrong message though i meant another way...so..yea lo...now only left chloe, sarah, xian and jon whom i can really be open lo...

oh yea...i kinda felt...very hard for me to find or fall for guys huh...aih...i've to kinda stop already...must have self-control...cz...things has changed... =) alright...bye...heh =P

changed

changed my blog to:

click here please

thank you...

=D

will still be using here...

but not for blogging purposes though...

lol...

cz apparently there cant put cbox or shoutmix... D':

lol...

school??

am currently stuck at uni/college with nothing to do...or so i thought...might have missed out some important stuffs..but...for once...i would like to just think that i've finished the things i'm supposed to finish and relax...lol...i'm still not use to being free... =.='''

cant leave uni/college cz later at 4.30pm have duty in the student council office...or so they called it...it's basically just a small room inside the student service department where since it's not used...so we just take it as our office...lol...is it the right choice for me to join the student council??hmm...am still wondering..lol...

a student...my friend...from the august intake...fell ill...food poisoning i suspected...and i kinda feel bad because i was the one who asked her and her other friends to have their branch at a restaurant just beside gasoline..it's a shop where they sell chinese food and pastries like the 'char siew bao' and 'dan tat'...lol...she was fine the whole day until she had 'contact' with the food there...or drink...pity her...vomited for like 3 times?!!felt bad...lol...apologised...but still...felt bad... :(

anyway...will be having a presentation this coming thursday...am scared cz it's marketing...and i dont know whether mine's alright or not...prayers are greatly appreciated...lol...

very cold here...thanks to the air-con...lol...i kinda wonder...how ungrateful we humans are...when we have something...we'll complain either too much or not enough...when we dont have something...we complain we dont have this and that...just like the air-con...when we dont have we complain very hot...want to die of heat...when we have air-con...we complain too cold...want to die of cold...lol...and then i realised...

no wonder la humans are king of excuses

can everyone say LOL??!

p/s: i know...i'm just being too lame...lol...

tiring hols~

and there goes my one week hols...lol...i remembered my big bro use to tell my mom:

'if you ever see a michelle with nothing to do, that's not michelle.'

lol...actually quite true also la...i mean...come to think of it...i've not been like REALLY RESTING for like quite some time already...years maybe...lol...like example after spm...within three weeks without any REAL proper rest 'swoop~' here i am...studying the course i-strongly-believe-chosen-by-God...lol...and not just that...church...assignments...student council(though seriously i kinda feel bad for not been able to do anything for the sc...{ ' ^ ', })...family...looks as if there's nothing much to do huh...wait till you're in my shoes...it's like every single day there really is not much space for me to laze around...lol...

yeaterday the youths had an acticity...where we gathered at the i-called-it-th-youth-room room and so-called-''make lantern''...lol...basically since the mid-autumn festival is near...and the ''happy hour''(which means something like a gathering fellowship thingy...)is officially launched...and since i'm in charge of the whole thing...i kinda thought of like making lanterns and having a BBQ near outside church...but because somehow i dont know why...i just couldnt find the right source on how to make a lantern...so in the end...i decided let's just use a glass as the base and sort of 'make' it into a lantern...lol...

bad planning though...first of all...i know i've over budgeted(that...i've already anticipated...lol...)...then...i'm still so use to the do-things-alone habit...haih...i dont know why...but every time when i'm given a task to do somehow i felt i kinda took the whole responsibility onto myself and i'll end up planning and preparing the materials all alone...maybe i'm use to doing things alone??or maybe all i want is just to see the youths enjoying themselves without any need to do anything??or maybe i just dont know what to give the youths to do??lol...and because of that...very very bad planning...lol...but at least thank God...though some of the youths are clearly almost bored to death...most of them enjoyed the 'lantern making thingy'...lol...and when it comes to the BBQing...man...i tell you ...without calvin/kelvin(i dont know what's the spelling...but obviously it sounds the same...lol...)we can just say bye-bye to dinner...lol...they really did superb when it comes to bringing our the best in the coals...lol... :P

before that thanks to sarah yang...while we're trying hard to bring the coals on fire...she kinda had the youths do some stuffs to keep them occupied...thank God...@.@~~and when they're finally finished...tada~~~~fire is ready and food...ready to be cooked...lol...and everybody had their share...or so i hope...my mom actually came too...to see and half-support...lol... :D

was a bit discourage actually...cz felt as if i did not do a good job in the organizing wise...and missed a lot of things like the drinks...forgot that there's salad and did not prepare any fork or spoons...seeing some of the youths like dint really enjoy the art and craft thingy...dint thought of 'distributing' jobs to the others...forgot that i'm not alone...i know we learn through experience...but still...i do have certain expectations from and for myself...so...yea...if i'm given something to do...i want to do it properly...lol...but one thing comforts me...and that is to see the youths all(ok la...not all but 2/3 of them...)gather at the 'stove' and have their fellowship there...i mean...they were like turning the food here and there...spreading sauces and spreads(actually there's only BBQ sauce...butter and honey...lol...)and chatting and laughing...gives me a very warm and very family-like scene...a big family...

am very glad some youths who i did not expect to come came... :D no pics yet...but soon...i hope...lol...btw...the 'lanterns' made was voted by the church congregation...and well well...God always make things interesting doesnt HE...hah...the 'zi bei' group actually got 1st~!!congrates...lol... :)

and now i'm just wondering...if i were given a chance...how should i relax myself???

maybe i should just...

go to some beach and have a tan or two like the pic above...lol...

or

maybe sleeping by the pool's better...

but since i'm still 'P-less'...which is better??

get a relaxing machine...

or

or just find a spot on the couch and have my nap...

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

but i guess the best way and the laziest way to relax would be just

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

slumber on the sofa with a tv remote and some snacks or two and laze around like nobody's business...lol... :DD

oh how wonderful if i could ever do that...lol... :D

24/09/09

我发现每当我在最最没有事情做的时候，我的头脑会特别的灵活...hmm...想的东西也特别多，尤其是关于上帝的骄傲制品-生命。lol...其实是人类啦，毕竟我发现其实上帝说创造的每样东西都具有生命的,好像宇宙啊，太阳啊，地球啊，大自然自己本身啊...全部都是有生命的哩...@.@（我刚刚才发现到lol...)但我觉得比起其他的生命哩人类是最复杂也是最简单的...人类的头脑里往往还蛮复杂却带有些纯真在里面...搞到有时我在想上帝的头脑会不会好像我们的头脑酱，还是比我们的更复杂?!!

讲到上帝呢，其实我并不是很清楚该怎样面对他，因为我看到一些人真的是敬拜他到他好像那种不能接近的神酱，惹到他就是死路一条...lol...然后我又看到一些人好想把他当成摇钱树酱，需要他的时候才找他，不是要的时候就算了，不管他了...我觉得我好像是属于第二种的哩...好惨 T_T

但我并没有说真的利用上帝哩，hmm...我又不会觉得他离我很远喔...我觉得他还蛮疼我的，虽然他没有一一的实现我的每个愿望，但至少我知道他从来都没有抛弃我而且不断的一直陪在我身边...又愿意陪我说话...又知道我的心事和心声...又每次在我最绝望的时候出现帮我，又每次在我伤心的时候安慰我，又每次和我讲关于人身道理（其实是他的道理...lol...)...而且他不只照顾我一个人哩...哗，我在想不知有多少个‘神’会酱子做...lol...

总之呢，上帝对我来说呢，是我生活中的全部吧，他是我的朋友，我上天的爸爸，我最需要的人吧，没有他啊，哼，我想我可以和这地球讲byebye了噜...哪有本事一个人生活的下去啊?!真的死路一条就有啦...lol...抱歉，我人就真的不相信幸不幸运咯...没办法啊，经历了那么多...虽然现在大多数的人都比较往向freethinker但我还是相信耶稣，因为我亲自体验过他的爱嘛...heh...所以，就到此结束吧，反正你不说我也觉得我的post很闷，都不懂我在讲什么...lol...

anyway...God Bless...got to zzZZZzzzzzZZZZZzzzz already... :D ...bye~~

p/s:i kinda changed the songs in my blog...the previous one's kinda too noisy for me...guess some of you have the same feeling...lol...these ones are quite nice to me la...hah...do enjoy anyway... :)

Oh...Crab... =.='''

it was a sunday...after service...

do click the picture for a clearer view...lol...

can everyone say LOL?!!!!