Christ With Me

hmm

2009-12-03T20:24:00.002+08:00

i do wonder...who would actually still come back here to read my post?lol...anyway...it's just a for fun thing...nothing much...compare this with wordpress?i prefer the latter...lol...cz i just felt...man...this blog of mine...too complicated with too many wordings...lol...(what to do...the owner jere loves writing actually...lol...=.='')the wordpress is much more simplier...with mostly pics and less wordings...lol...

anyway...year end's like...so sosososososososoooooooooooo near?! times has evolve into some monster with a speed comparable with the speed of lighting man...lol...it's year end already... @.@!!! and i still remember when i first came in to BUCH...lol...meeting with wonderful people...creating unforgetable memories...man...i definitely am going to appreciate those memories...heh... =P

btw...i guess...the affected friendship between sam and i is slowly recovering??at least to me la...cz at least we can now talk to each other without feeling awkward....lol...though i guess...we can never be as close as we used to in the past...aih...what a waste...i used to talk to him bout lots of stuffs cz i can only really relate to him and jon without any worries and just be myself...now only left jon... =[ ....not to say i cant relate to the other youths la...it's just my prob...i have communication prob...lol...i tend to send out the wrong message though i meant another way...so..yea lo...now only left chloe, sarah, xian and jon whom i can really be open lo...

oh yea...i kinda felt...very hard for me to find or fall for guys huh...aih...i've to kinda stop already...must have self-control...cz...things has changed... =) alright...bye...heh =P

changed

2009-10-08T23:00:00.002+08:00

changed my blog to:

click here please

thank you...

will still be using here...

but not for blogging purposes though...

lol...

cz apparently there cant put cbox or shoutmix... D':

lol...

school??

2009-10-06T15:00:00.003+08:00

am currently stuck at uni/college with nothing to do...or so i thought...might have missed out some important stuffs..but...for once...i would like to just think that i've finished the things i'm supposed to finish and relax...lol...i'm still not use to being free... =.='''

cant leave uni/college cz later at 4.30pm have duty in the student council office...or so they called it...it's basically just a small room inside the student service department where since it's not used...so we just take it as our office...lol...is it the right choice for me to join the student council??hmm...am still wondering..lol...

a student...my friend...from the august intake...fell ill...food poisoning i suspected...and i kinda feel bad because i was the one who asked her and her other friends to have their branch at a restaurant just beside gasoline..it's a shop where they sell chinese food and pastries like the 'char siew bao' and 'dan tat'...lol...she was fine the whole day until she had 'contact' with the food there...or drink...pity her...vomited for like 3 times?!!felt bad...lol...apologised...but still...felt bad... :(

anyway...will be having a presentation this coming thursday...am scared cz it's marketing...and i dont know whether mine's alright or not...prayers are greatly appreciated...lol...

very cold here...thanks to the air-con...lol...i kinda wonder...how ungrateful we humans are...when we have something...we'll complain either too much or not enough...when we dont have something...we complain we dont have this and that...just like the air-con...when we dont have we complain very hot...want to die of heat...when we have air-con...we complain too cold...want to die of cold...lol...and then i realised...

no wonder la humans are king of excuses

can everyone say LOL??!

p/s: i know...i'm just being too lame...lol...

tiring hols~

2009-09-27T21:39:00.004+08:00

and there goes my one week hols...lol...i remembered my big bro use to tell my mom:

'if you ever see a michelle with nothing to do, that's not michelle.'

lol...actually quite true also la...i mean...come to think of it...i've not been like REALLY RESTING for like quite some time already...years maybe...lol...like example after spm...within three weeks without any REAL proper rest 'swoop~' here i am...studying the course i-strongly-believe-chosen-by-God...lol...and not just that...church...assignments...student council(though seriously i kinda feel bad for not been able to do anything for the sc...{ ' ^ ', })...family...looks as if there's nothing much to do huh...wait till you're in my shoes...it's like every single day there really is not much space for me to laze around...lol...

yeaterday the youths had an acticity...where we gathered at the i-called-it-th-youth-room room and so-called-''make lantern''...lol...basically since the mid-autumn festival is near...and the ''happy hour''(which means something like a gathering fellowship thingy...)is officially launched...and since i'm in charge of the whole thing...i kinda thought of like making lanterns and having a BBQ near outside church...but because somehow i dont know why...i just couldnt find the right source on how to make a lantern...so in the end...i decided let's just use a glass as the base and sort of 'make' it into a lantern...lol...

bad planning though...first of all...i know i've over budgeted(that...i've already anticipated...lol...)...then...i'm still so use to the do-things-alone habit...haih...i dont know why...but every time when i'm given a task to do somehow i felt i kinda took the whole responsibility onto myself and i'll end up planning and preparing the materials all alone...maybe i'm use to doing things alone??or maybe all i want is just to see the youths enjoying themselves without any need to do anything??or maybe i just dont know what to give the youths to do??lol...and because of that...very very bad planning...lol...but at least thank God...though some of the youths are clearly almost bored to death...most of them enjoyed the 'lantern making thingy'...lol...and when it comes to the BBQing...man...i tell you ...without calvin/kelvin(i dont know what's the spelling...but obviously it sounds the same...lol...)we can just say bye-bye to dinner...lol...they really did superb when it comes to bringing our the best in the coals...lol... :P

before that thanks to sarah yang...while we're trying hard to bring the coals on fire...she kinda had the youths do some stuffs to keep them occupied...thank God...@.@~~and when they're finally finished...tada~~~~fire is ready and food...ready to be cooked...lol...and everybody had their share...or so i hope...my mom actually came too...to see and half-support...lol... :D

was a bit discourage actually...cz felt as if i did not do a good job in the organizing wise...and missed a lot of things like the drinks...forgot that there's salad and did not prepare any fork or spoons...seeing some of the youths like dint really enjoy the art and craft thingy...dint thought of 'distributing' jobs to the others...forgot that i'm not alone...i know we learn through experience...but still...i do have certain expectations from and for myself...so...yea...if i'm given something to do...i want to do it properly...lol...but one thing comforts me...and that is to see the youths all(ok la...not all but 2/3 of them...)gather at the 'stove' and have their fellowship there...i mean...they were like turning the food here and there...spreading sauces and spreads(actually there's only BBQ sauce...butter and honey...lol...)and chatting and laughing...gives me a very warm and very family-like scene...a big family...

am very glad some youths who i did not expect to come came... :D no pics yet...but soon...i hope...lol...btw...the 'lanterns' made was voted by the church congregation...and well well...God always make things interesting doesnt HE...hah...the 'zi bei' group actually got 1st~!!congrates...lol... :)

and now i'm just wondering...if i were given a chance...how should i relax myself???

maybe i should just...

go to some beach and have a tan or two like the pic above...lol...

maybe sleeping by the pool's better...

but since i'm still 'P-less'...which is better??

get a relaxing machine...

or just find a spot on the couch and have my nap...

but i guess the best way and the laziest way to relax would be just

slumber on the sofa with a tv remote and some snacks or two and laze around like nobody's business...lol... :DD

oh how wonderful if i could ever do that...lol... :D

24/09/09

2009-09-24T23:30:00.004+08:00

我发现每当我在最最没有事情做的时候，我的头脑会特别的灵活...hmm...想的东西也特别多，尤其是关于上帝的骄傲制品-生命。lol...其实是人类啦，毕竟我发现其实上帝说创造的每样东西都具有生命的,好像宇宙啊，太阳啊，地球啊，大自然自己本身啊...全部都是有生命的哩...@.@（我刚刚才发现到lol...)但我觉得比起其他的生命哩人类是最复杂也是最简单的...人类的头脑里往往还蛮复杂却带有些纯真在里面...搞到有时我在想上帝的头脑会不会好像我们的头脑酱，还是比我们的更复杂?!!

讲到上帝呢，其实我并不是很清楚该怎样面对他，因为我看到一些人真的是敬拜他到他好像那种不能接近的神酱，惹到他就是死路一条...lol...然后我又看到一些人好想把他当成摇钱树酱，需要他的时候才找他，不是要的时候就算了，不管他了...我觉得我好像是属于第二种的哩...好惨 T_T

但我并没有说真的利用上帝哩，hmm...我又不会觉得他离我很远喔...我觉得他还蛮疼我的，虽然他没有一一的实现我的每个愿望，但至少我知道他从来都没有抛弃我而且不断的一直陪在我身边...又愿意陪我说话...又知道我的心事和心声...又每次在我最绝望的时候出现帮我，又每次在我伤心的时候安慰我，又每次和我讲关于人身道理（其实是他的道理...lol...)...而且他不只照顾我一个人哩...哗，我在想不知有多少个‘神’会酱子做...lol...

总之呢，上帝对我来说呢，是我生活中的全部吧，他是我的朋友，我上天的爸爸，我最需要的人吧，没有他啊，哼，我想我可以和这地球讲byebye了噜...哪有本事一个人生活的下去啊?!真的死路一条就有啦...lol...抱歉，我人就真的不相信幸不幸运咯...没办法啊，经历了那么多...虽然现在大多数的人都比较往向freethinker但我还是相信耶稣，因为我亲自体验过他的爱嘛...heh...所以，就到此结束吧，反正你不说我也觉得我的post很闷，都不懂我在讲什么...lol...

anyway...God Bless...got to zzZZZzzzzzZZZZZzzzz already... :D ...bye~~

p/s:i kinda changed the songs in my blog...the previous one's kinda too noisy for me...guess some of you have the same feeling...lol...these ones are quite nice to me la...hah...do enjoy anyway... :)

Oh...Crab... =.='''

2009-09-22T21:57:00.005+08:00

it was a sunday...after service...

do click the picture for a clearer view...lol...

can everyone say LOL?!!!!

leaving?

2009-09-15T21:16:00.003+08:00

and today might be the last day of us seeing shaun...the so-called-G the guys named him...lol...gonna miss him...he's a good friend and a big bro to most of us...

so shaun...remember to come back...it'll only be fun when you're around...lol... :DD

God bless and enjoy your life there...see you in 9 months...lol... :)

sorry

2009-09-13T15:08:00.002+08:00

hmm...i guess...i kinda owe alex and ben an apology here...i was definitely upset yesterday and the day before...but come to think of it...i wasnt that good myself...so that gives me no right to say anyone...especially after yesterday with mom and today during the sermon and youth session...i know God's talking to me...telling me:''hey chill...everything's under control...dont worry...''...if God's not angry why should i right??

anyway...if any of them are reading this...just want to say...

sorry if any of you are offended.

:DD

nope...i still prefer to be me...and have my stand...especially when it comes to God...so...yup...that's it...lol... :DDD

pool??

2009-09-12T14:40:00.008+08:00

you know...everytime when i took a chinese book or read any chinese books...people around me including my friends will definitely ask me this

:"har?!mich you know how to read chinese one a?!!!!"

:''huh??yea...why???"

:''o...i thought you can speak but cant read chinese."

:"huh??why did you think so??''

:''oh...i dont know...you just dont seem like a person who knows chinese.''

:''...swt............''

lol...do i really look like some bananas???and then when i was like working part time at baskin robins i get similiar reactions like the following...

:''hello welcome to baskin robins*smile*''

:''喂，你觉得哪个口味最好吃哩??"

:"不知道哩..."

:"你们可以试吃，要不要试吃这个口味?"*choose a flavour for them*

:"..............."*stunt look and long stare*

:''...??yes??"

:"原来你会听华语的啊?"

one word-LOL...=.= ...anyway...actually intented to blog bout yesterday in chinese since...

1. i've never really blog in chinese except once.

2. just want to tell some people-never judge me by my cover...i'm no banana...only for cantonese then yes...i am a banana...lol...

but...well...since i do have some friends who...erm...cant really explain the reason...but for some reason...i've decided to blog in english...lol...

yesterday was alex's birthday...and well...we were all invited to richmond's house since he's staying with him...basically there werent anything to eat except some tit-bits and fried rice made by alex himslef cz the whole purpose of that so-called-party was just more to drinking and drinking and "party" and smoking...or so i thought...lol...=.='''...

the whole house inside was 'brighten' by the disco light thanks to richmond and the song...well...as anyone can expect...some boom boom clubing song...lol...i personally felt the songs were ok...some of them was cool and nice...the guests were mostly random...some BIG people invited and they actually came...lol...talk about networking...cool eh...some...alex and richmond's friend...some...people we know...and many more...lol...

to be honest...there's nothing much to be expected there...and personally...i was a bit disgusted and disappointed...it's not bout the drinking or smoking or music or dance or networking or whatsoever...i dont mind bout those...it's a party...do whatever they want but...

1. some of them call themselves a christian...they know they shouldnt get themselves drunk...no matter what reason...and well...some people end up coo coo...and you expect non-believers to accept Christ...talk bout how to win people for Christ some more...cheh...

2. alex invited the people...he did went around entertaining us...by getting himself drunk and doing some stupid moves...who did all the cleaning up and REALLY talking to people???the not-birthday-boy...richmond...=.=...seriously...though he has his weaknesses...but compare to some...i really felt that last night he's more self-controlled and really tried to control things as in not make things go disasterous...lol...

3. i pitied richmond's girlfriend...i dont know what happens between them and dont really want to know but during the whole party thingy she was like...sitting at a corner alone and not mixing around with a sad face...lol...and i heard something happened after that...no...not bad things dont worry...lol...

4. i hate it when some people says they dont believe someone is a christian unless they have a relationship with God...but they themselves go do things the other way round...talk bout REAL christians...pooh...stop giving me crabs man...the seaside already has a lot of them...are all so-called-ang-mou-langs the same?i mean...do they just simply go kiss some girl after just meeting with each other?!!that...i dont care...what disgust me most is...when ben went to church he and alex will be ''having a relationship with God'' after that...God knows what they're up to...come on man...if you really want to do all these things...stop telling me bout ''only a person who has a personal relationship with God is a christian" stupid crabs...if he really has a relationship with God...even stupid people KNOWS that he/she should not do things which displeases Him...and this case???you say you have a personal relationship with God???i so DOUBT it...cheh...

5. one thing to say to those people:

you dont call yourselves christians if you cant even differenciate the difference between the world and God...

seriously seeing all these i was like soooooo dying to go to the pool...heh...cz there got a pool... :D ...as in swimming pool...lol...thank God hein yew and wilfred and shaun came and we had a swim...lol... :D ...really felt disgusted with those scenes i saw that night...having fun is having fun...but there's always a limit...i remembered alex told me a few times before he wanted to quit smoking after He came to know Christ...i can understand that...but saying is one thing...doing...as everyone can guess...is another thing...i really am disappointed man...

anyway...it's more or less like that...went home quite late...almost two...no...i dont feel good to be back late...very tiring you know...wonder how those clubbing people can stand it...lol...so that's it...gtg...biaiii~~~~~

p/s:btw...the fowwing pics have nothing to do with the post above...just wanted to let some see how i spend my time in uni/college... :D enjoy...

nana and i... :D

yes...i terblingkan my phone...lol...

????

2009-09-08T22:59:00.003+08:00

man...how to enlarge my pic up there???after changing this skin to the err...usual one...i suppose...seems like i'm having some hard time trying to enlarge the pics...lol...

anyway...just blogging..for fun...lol...guess what...i've put on weight... =.=''' ...and not just a bit but A LOT!!!!!!haih...just when i'm trying hard to not enlarge my appetite...sad case sad case...i dont want to be fat... D': but in reality...i am FAT...as in SERIOUSLY FAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!haih haih haih...and not only that...i've like TONS of stuffs i need to do...first of all...i have to deco my uni/college recreation room...and then...i have to go find gifts for prom...and then...i have to look for BBQ food for BBQ at church on the 26th...and then...i have to find some books or anything that can show and teach us humans how to make lantern kind of resource...and then..there's the ever-so-hateful-assignment...and that...have to pass up on the five week... D': ...and then...i'm tired...lol...

seriously...sometimes i do hope to really just laze around and not care bout anything...just rest...lol...but...oh well...when i have free time...i'd felt as if i'm just wasting my time and i just cant sit still...but when it comes to work...i'l soooooooo wish that there's hols coming around...lol...nutsy...lol...=.='''

i dont know why...but i kinda felt as if my way of blogging seems to like...changed???i mean when compare to my old old posts...yea...i kinda felt the way i blog has kinda changed...lol...oh well...as long as it's still me blogging who cares right...i'm me...cloud... :DD

PUTU PIRING~!! :DD

2009-09-02T23:26:00.002+08:00

do any of you love putu piring??it's a kind of dish made from coconut and gula melaka and some kind of flour...man...i just LOVEEEEEEEEEeeeeeee putu pirings...lol...i mean...i dare say it's one of my most favourite food ever!!!!(look...i know my english sounds very wrong...it sounds wrong to me too...but...oh well...i never said my english is good...lol...)

ahem ahem...wonder why am i so into putu piring??ngek ngek ngek...it's because...heh...i'm sure everyone knows that it's a puasa month(is it consider as month???)right??so when there's puasa...there's GOOD FOOD!!!!! :DD ...stalls will be set up and ahhHHHhhh~~~just thinking of it makes me drool...ok la...i admit the stalls are not as high class as those in the shopping centre...and they are stalls set up by muslims...or malays to be exact...but there's no law saying that chinese or indians cant eat malay food or vice versa right??and we all know that malay spicy food are chio...and their kuih muihs are yummy too...especially their PUTU PIRINGS!!!!muahahahahaha...

but too bad la...nowadays we can RARELY find any putu pirings on the street...according to mom it's a very ma fan kind of food to do...lol...let's see...it's been like...if not mistaken since secondary school i've not been tasting any putu pirings at all...lol...sad case right...but anyway...since my area here have more malays...so it's not unusual to see stalls beeing set up for their buka puasa...lol...and big bro and i went to the nearby stalls to see if we find anything worth eating as our dinner...lol...and we found PUTU PIRINGS!!!!!(yea yea...i know i've been repeating it for dont know how many N times bout it...but i'm just too excited already...lol... :P)so we bought like 30 pieces of it???lol...

anyway...just want to share my love for PUTU PIRINGs...lol... :D ...very lame i know...so...that's it...heh...biaiiii~~~~ :DD

AAaaaarrrRRRRrrrgggggggggggggGGGGGHHHhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

2009-09-01T16:15:00.003+08:00

great...and i spent almost 3 hours just to do my tutorial and NOW?!!!EVERYTHING'S GONE!!!!!!GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ARGHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!no mood to redo again liao la now...haiyo.......haih...sad man sad...you know the meaning SAD?!!haih...

crab... =.=

DRAMA PICS!!!!

2009-09-01T00:43:00.012+08:00

oh good...finally i get to get the pics in the drama i was involved in ADORE...hmm...do enjoy... :D

and i present you...2/3 of the ADORE team~!! :D

when everything negative + Jesus what do we get???answer: HOPE :DD

erm...i like this... :D

and this... :D

lol...i dont know what i was doing......

you know...i dont know what's so nice bout these pics that the photographers have to keep taking it...lol..it's just a pastor praying for a repent mom... @.@???

and then the audience goes:''wuuUUUuuuuu~~~~~~''lol...

the regret mom...

looked like some sicko person...lol...

i was like:''oh hello mrs lian...oh nothing nothing...haha...just checkinh out my lates LG ice-cream phone.....'' *bitchy...lol*

3 days work?!!

2009-08-31T00:12:00.006+08:00

ahem ahem...it's been such long time since i last blog man...dint really get the chance to use the laptop or com...haih... D': it's like...i dont know whether i'm just too soft hearted or just too lazy to argue with my siblings...*i'd prefer the latter...lol* it's like...ok...exp:

me:sarah, can i use the com??

sis:har...i want to use le...i just used only...you go ask daniel let you use la...

me:...okay lo..*turn to lil bro*...daniel...can i use the laptop??

daniel:...har...but i want to use le...why every time i using you all sure ask me let you use one?!

me:...but i long time dint use liao le...

sis/dan:we all also la...we all only can use on weekends and hols le...let us use cannot meh??

me:...but...haiyo...suan liao la...i dont want to use already la!!!!!*storms off and gets her bath*

sis/daniel:..............

lol...sounds childish eh...but that's how we 4 siblings manage our relationship...lol...neh...still love them very much...just that sometimes i kinda felt that i might not be able to go through 50 years old with them *gek sam until die ah...lol* btw...had been working at BR since yesterday...heh...for 3 days...two days without hein yew and wong around...man...at first was kinda nervous cz...well...i was the only chinese there...and kinda expect to get some screwing up from the people there...but out to my surprise...hehehe...they're all such nice people...as in they really took good care of me...though out of ten(including me)nine of them were malays but they seem to be cool with me...lol...in fact they even asked me to teach them chinese and allow me to learn how to handle the cashier...lol... :D thank God eh...hmm...yup...thank God... :) ...if any of you are wondering why on earth am i killing myself working on weekends...well...cz BR was having 31% discounts from the 29th-31st august...and so...in order to get more cash...so work lo...lol...wanted to use the money to get a phone for my mom... :DD ( i know she doesnt know how to read blogs...that's why i dare put this up here...lol...but those who knows my mom...pleeeeeeeaaaaaaaasssssssssseeeeeeee...i'm begging you...dont tell her...lol...SSSssshhhhHHhhhhhhhh...)

actually was supposed to meet up with chloe and sarah (fyi not my sis...lol...)but cz of some dont-know-how-to-explain-complications...i had to work and so just went for lunch with them...hahaha...had a good chat...we kinda chat bout almost everything...boys...girls...movies...people...mostly bout movies...scary movies...lol...especially now since both sarah and i had watched the ophan...man...somehow just cant help talking bout that show...lol...wonder how many people will start doubting orphanage kids after that show now...lol...yes...i do talk girl stuffs...though i know many will find it hard to even imagine me talking bout some lame girl stuffs...what to do...i'm still a girl...i cant help it...even if i ever did any sexual transmission...i dont think my this habit thingy would ever change...lol...no la...not that kind of typical girly la...just bout updating each of our lives...yes true we do have blogs and we do update them every now and then (yea right...sounds like one month once...lol...=.=''')but still there are some things which will be better if we do it using our God-given-mouth...lol... :P yes...i still love them...lol...sometimes i wonder what will i become if not because of them...first...without sarah...i dont think i'd be as open as i am now...i am crazy at times...but i dont do it in front of people except my fam...that's why when i was younger most people think of me as a freak who's always emo...lol...and without chloe...i dont think i'd learn to control my temper...cz she'd always there to advise me to have self-control...lol...and most of all..the credits still goes back to God...if it wasnt for Him...i dont think i'd be able to meet these two such beautiful friends... :D

talking bout friends...haih...i used to wonder will my friendship with all my friends ever last...cz among my so many friends...i guess i only manage to maintain my friendship with only 3 for more than 2 years... D': there's this friend...he's a guy la...how i hope our friendship can really last you know...see...we were friends for like 2 years+???we used to chat bout lots of stuffs...crabs...girls...boys...whatever...everything...he was like my only guy friend who knew the most things bout me and my life and hmm...i dare say i used to know bout his life too *note the word 'used to'...* ...we'd go out yam char...though our yam char were mostly in a err...more high class 'yam char place' lol... until when err...things got kinda complicated...i'm not the type who'd just go up and talk to people...so you can say i'm actually quite a cold person cz if i dont know what to talk to you or dont feel like talking to you or have nothing to talk to you...i'll just wont talk...and keep my mouth shut...as simple as that...lol...i wont take the initiative to go and talk to people...so can say among the gang there...the person i can relate most is him and another friend but too bad that another friend is not here anymore...but because of that...people started talking...giving conclusions of their own...it started out as a joke...and then it grew bigger...and in the end it's like the whole world knew bout something which doesnt exist at all...

at first he and i dint really take the so-called-joke seriously...i mean...come on man...the mouth's on other people's face...what can we do right if someone wants to say something bout us??but then as things grew more complicated...i kinda felt as if our friendship's affected too...first...i noticed he seems to talk less with me...then he started avoiding me...or so i think he is though he denied it...hmm...and when i talk to him...i can feel as if he's uncomfortable and wants to get away from me...and now...it's like he just totally stops talking to me...crab huh...hurt?of course i am hurt...hurt as in i cant believe that our friendship can just end because of this kind of thing...

you see i did asked him before if he ever feels uncomfortable with the rumours or if he feels like not talking to me..cz if he does feels that i'd prefer him to tell me so that i wont look so stupid and stubborn...cz i wont know and i'll still continue to find him and tell him stuffs...and then people will start saying stuffs again...seriously...i dont know whether he really cares what people says or not...cz though he said he doesnt mind...i seriously felt actually he cares...or not our friendship wont get affected...and when i kinda confronted him...as in told him how i felt bout our friendship...which was not long ago...i knew he'd say it's not bout the rumours...it's not bout me bla bla bla...just that he doesnt want our friendship to go up furthur...something like that...and i kinda felt so crab...cz...how on earth would i know if he doesnt tells me...and come on man...we were like soooooooooooooooooooooooooo impposible...cz

he's younger than me
i wont accept myself to fall for a guy younger than me
he cant accept himself falling for a girl older than him
we have too many similarities
we're like the magnets the 'U's and 'S's...only the opposite side will attach together...we're like on the same side...if you get what i mean
we're just too impossible

what makes me sad the most???him not treating me as his close friend anymore...we used to tell each other our secrets...now...even when i'm just trying to show my concern to him (cz he kinda has a low-self-esteem )...i felt as if he'll just say something and then shoo me aside...even when we see each other...somehow i just felt as if he just doesnt want to talk to me anymore...even a 'hi' is also like some gold...makes me dont feel like talking anymore...

i remembered when i went for a farewell steamboat for shaun with my uni/colledge mates i somehow got high...hein yew said i look as if i was happy...playing around and stuffs...a total different me...haih...i wish i could tell him...i couldnt help it...it's been such long time since i last remembered being REAL happy...hmm...how to say le...i felt as if my life's packed...overly packed with stuffs...church...youth...uni/colledge...activities...fam...so many times i wanted to cry...wanted to quite...wanted to just shout at the people to just stop giving me things to do...i am just going nuts here...just stop...wanted to tell someone...i'm not use to telling sarah and chloe nor xian...and if i'm not use to telling someone bout somehting...i just wont tell him/her...sometimes i felt like telling this friend of mine...but i know i've bothered him too much...especially now since he's like that...even his stuff he also wont tell me...what's the use of me kacaoing him if he's not treating me as a close friend anymore...how much more can i trust him right?haih...friends...they just comes and go...

that is why...til now...it's always hard for me to trust a friend...i may tell you something which sounds like a real secret...but knowing me...how much can you trust me...i dont know...i'm just tired of thinking what's wrong between our friendship...i just dont want to talk anymore...i dont want to care anymore...i'd rather just be a stranger to him...let him thinks whatever things he wants to think...i just cant go on anymore...friend or not...i really do appreciates our friendship before...if it can last of course i'd be glad...but seeing the situation now...i just dont feel...like talking anymore...i just dont want to talk anymore...that's it...no more for me...

THE END.

lalala~~~

2009-08-24T23:58:00.002+08:00

new semester has officially started and guess what??thank God the time table is more relaxing and not as stressful as last sem...waliao...oh yea...btw...i want to thank God too for helping me in my finals...at least i passed...hmm...not bad either my results...hmm...and also for the adore thingy...thank God again(yes...i do love my God... :D )cz at least things had gone smoothly...and the drama lightings were alright (really thank God for it man... @___@''')...there's just one thing i cant really understand...why when it's suppose to be a touching scene somehow the audience just cant help laughing...and when it's suppose to be a laughing scene the audience somehow just dont get it and...the atmosphere became so serious...man...humans...some complicated creation...lol...

had a chat with chloe just now through msn...man...missed her lots...i mean...i've known her like what...since form1 and i dare say she's one of the closest friend whom i can really talk things with...including all my not-so-secret-to-her-secrets...lol...gotta find a date and hang out again just like we used to with sarah (fyi...not my sis...lol...)... :D ...talking bout sarah...aih...miss her too...especially all her silly jokes and stuffs...somehow she's just so influencial...even i caught her ''influenced-flu''...lol...nice people...and yesterday xian came over to my place for some chats...lol...and i dint know that we can actually talked more than 3 hours...lol...actually i forgot hpw we became so close...lol...i only remember i used to go to her house and kacao her and that's when our friendship grew...knew her through teresa during form1...last time she was like a total banana...and now...a half-chinese-pro...lol...thank us xian...lol...just kidding la... :P

see??that's what true friends are...though are far-apart but still manage to maintain the friendship...hmm...hope my friendship with them could last as long till we die..lol...like mom and aunty sau fan and aunty helen(both these aunties were friends with my mom for more than 20 ears...lol...and aunty sau fan was in the same college *or same high school...hmm...if not mistaken* as mom and they were friends then...)i love my friends...i dont really have many true friends...but i know i do treassure every single drop of friendship i have with the people i know...including now... :DDD

randomness out of some randomness~lol... :DD

2009-08-20T00:24:00.006+08:00

just suddenly remember this song...ah~~~what memories it gives me... :)) ...it's a sad memory of course...but...kinda miss those feelings i had before...lol...do enjoy... :) btw...the translations are not from me...i just so happens to find it which unfortunately doesnt really fits in with the music...anyway...it's more or less the same meaning...lol... :)

思念是一种病

intro

当你在穿山越岭的另一边

When you are on the other side of the mountains and hills

我在孤独的路上没有尽头

 there’s no end to my lonely road

verse 1一辈子有多少的来不及

In a lifetime how many times are you too late发现已经失去

in discovering you’ve already lost 最重要的东西

what’s most important to you恍然大悟早已远去

Sudden realizations are long gone

为何总是在犯错之后

why is it only after making mistakes

才肯相信错的是自己

that you’re willing to believe that you are the one who was wrong

他们说这就是人生

They say that’s just life

试著体会试著忍住眼泪

you have to try and learn from experience, Try enduring falling tears

还是躲不开应该有的情绪

or you’ll hide yourself away from the feelings you should have

我不会奢求世界停止转动

I can’t plead with the world to stop turning

我知道逃避一点都没有用

I know avoidance isn’t useful at all

只是这段时间里尤其在夜里

It’s just that right now, especially at night

还是会想起难忘的事情

I’ll still think of things that are hard to forget

我想我的思念是一种病

I think my yearning is a kind of sickness

久久不能痊愈

for so long I haven’t been able to recover from it

chorus

当你在穿山越岭的另一边

When you are on the other side of the mountains and hills

我在孤独的路上没有尽头

there’s no end to my lonely road

时常感觉你在耳后的呼吸

I often think I feel you breathing behind my ears

却未曾感觉你在心口的鼻息

but I’ve never felt the breath of your deepest thoughts

verse 2

汲汲营营

Frantically

忘记身边的人需要爱和关心

forgetting that the people beside us need love and concern

藉口总是拉远了距离

excuses always increase the distance between us

不知不觉无声无息

Unwittingly, unknowingly

我们总是在抱怨事与愿违

we’re always busy complaining and disobeying

却不愿意回头看看自己

yet we’re unwilling to look back and examine ourselves

想想自己到底做了甚黱蠢事情

Thinking of what foolish things we’ve actually done

也许是上帝给我一个试炼

perhaps it’s God testing me

只是这伤口需要花点时间

It’s just that this wound requires a bit of time

只是会想念过去的一切

it’s just that I yearn for everything that has passed

那些人事物会离我远去

Those people and things are far from me

而我们终究也会远离

and we eventually will also find distance

变成回忆

turned to memories
*chorus*

bridge oh 思念是一种病

Oh yearning is a kind of sickness oh

思念是一种病一种病

oh yearning is a kind of sickness, a kind of sickness

多久没有说我爱你

For how long have you not said I love you

多久没有拥抱你所爱的人

for how long have you not embraced the people you love

当这个世界不在那黱美好

When this world is no longer so lovely

只有爱可以让他更好

only love can make things better

我相信一切都来得及

I believe, it’s still not too late

别管那些纷纷扰扰

ignore those constant disruptions

别让不开心的事停下了脚步

Don’t make unhappy things stop your progress

就怕你不说就怕你不做

I’m just afraid you won’t speak, just afraid you won’t act

别让遗憾继续一切都来得及

Don’t let the regret continue, it’s still not too late

p/s: no...i do not miss my past...i just happen to miss the song...that's all...lol...

orientation day

2009-08-19T23:32:00.003+08:00

and so finally after two and a half weeks of hols (seriously i felt as if i've only one week of hols...T____T)...today was the day where i had to face my worst fear besides death...yes...even worse than heights or cockroaches or lizards or my finals or my results-people...freshmen...lol... =.='''

weird right why should i say my worst fear is people...cz to me...people are just so...unique and scary at some point...anyway...today had my orientation...err...not exactly MY orientation...just that had to go back to my uni/college to help out for the august intake's orientation...lol...and guess what?!after two semesters...finally our uni/college has some international students...let us all shout :''HIP HIP HOORAY~!!!!!''(lol..lame...=.='''...actually that hip hip thingy is just for fun...i myself basically cant think of any reason to be happy bout this thing except that we had 7 international students and some were...ahem ahem...)and among them all there was this canadian guy from the states (we know where canada is...=.=''')which was quite (i wont use the word 'cute'...)leng zai and OMG you should just see how almost-every-single-girls gone crazy over him...gosh...they tried sitting as near to him as possible la...gap him as much as they can la...talk to him as much as they can la...bla bla bla...it's like the whole school has just gone crazy...lol...

me??cheh...as for me i do admit that guy's really something la...i mean having the looks but that doesnt mean i should get so :''oh~~~oh~~~'' towards him ba...=.=''' i just felt it's stupid...i mean...i dont even know who he really is and how is his character like...pooh...if you would ask me to go :''oh~~oh~~'' i'd rather do it to somebody whom i know well man...sorry la...let's just say i'm no typical girl who'll just melts aways just because of a leng zai...gap zai is gap zai...going crazy is another thing and a bit overly exaggerate to me...so no thanks...crab...wonder how those girls do it man...girls...i think even though i'm a girl myself...i can never fully understand what a typical girl would put in her mind...lol...

anyway this batch of students are more serious compared to the last batch...and i kinda thank God i'm not really in charge of anything besides the measurement of uniform thingy which happens to be today which happens to end like hours ago just now...lol...no la...basically what i mean was things went well which is something i want to thank God bout...lol...but this batch memang quite solemn to me lo...like during games and all the april intakes actually were more enthusiastic than them...lol...and bout the international students?hmm..apparently i know there's one japanese mix with dont know what 'simbabui'(sorry la...i know my spelling's wrong so please do bare with me...lol...)girl...she's quite cute and pretty...not to say thin and tall...with long legs *guys go fuuuyeeee* and all...lol...thought if she knew how to make sushi can ask her to teach me...muahahahahaha...(oh gosh...another koo koo in the head...=.=''')

basically there's nothing much la today...just that it was great to see all my mates again... :) ...and after that went makan with alex, hein yew, erica and sandy at opposite klbc d road there(sorry la..i'm a road freak...so i really dont know what that road's call...lol...) where there's a lot of food stalls around...hmm...not bad the food...had dinner and chats...kinda sound like part of a uni student's life to me...i mean eats and chats...hmm... :D

anyway...tomorrow result will be coming out...am half freaking out...haih...really hope that i can pass all my subs...LORD, PLEASE HELP ME~!!!!! o(╯□╰)o

HOPE

2009-08-05T18:00:00.011+08:00

okay...first of all...what defines hope??i kinda found out that there were no one definite definition behind this word...but according to the dic i find...i guess this would be the better explanation in a christian's point of view : the desire and search for a future good, difficult but not impossible to attain with God's help.

seriously when i first thought of the word hope...i was kinda lost in words cz...if you would ask me to write what i think of hope...i wont be able to write anything out...cz the word 'HOPE' is a big thing to me...what am i to say?that hope is something where i can look forward to when i think of God??sounds fake huh...to be honest...i kinda am impressed by both sarah yang's ( click here ) and dorcas's ( click here ) blog bout hope...they really explained what hope really means to them well...but too bad la...i'm not good at writing...nor good at voicing out my opinions...so...kinda cracking my head now...lol...

so what does hope mean to me really?well...recently i got to be part of the drama crew for the upcoming ADORE at KLBC on the 22nd august...and my character was a selfish vain mom...who all she could think of is only herself and her beauty...which after some incident things kinda changed a little...and this character kinda makes me realised what had happened to the world now...people are like getting more and more complicated...time and work and money has eaten up most of every human's humanity...even children nowadays dont really have any real childhood memories...if you would ask a child:''what do you do when you're having your holidays?'' i bet most would answer:''oh...tuition lo...playing computer games lo...sometimes PS1/2/3...PSPs...watch TVs...then do homework lo...then eat lo...then study lo...then sleep lo...bla bla bla...''something like that...see the difference between theirs and ours??i remember when i was young...i'd go back to malacca with big bro and we'll climb trees and chase chickens and catch ducklings...we'll run into the pond with my cousin and play 'masak-masak' using broken pots and pans...if you ask a kid now whether he/she does these things...i bet most would answer:'' oh...cannot...mom/dad will scold/beat me...uncles and aunties will say i'm a bad child...only children with good results and number one in school is good child'' kinda exaggerate but true...in most Asian countries, only people who works overtime are consider as good staff...children who are good in academic is consider as good boys and girls...this makes the people's brain goes 'kaboom' and thus fatique...lol...the world is changing...and HOPE to the people...are just merely a second-thought-thing...

why is there a hope anyway in the first place?i used to wonder...and after some thought...i asked myself again...will there be hope if there is no worries or sadness or tragedy or anything bad?why do people have hope??at least in a non-christian's point of view...one might say :''how i wish i'd be lucky enough to get something or achieve something or be something...'' and in a christian's point of view this can be translated into something like this :''how i hope that God could help me to get something or achieve something or be something''...sounds similar i guess...but why would anyone says something like that??my guess would be because they did not achieve the outcome they desired(lol...too much principles of management already...=.=''') and so 'hope'/'wish' that what they want might come true...something like that ba...lol...but when there's so many things happening around the world...disasters...crimes...sicknesses all coming about so terribly...it just seems that nobody has really the courage to even dare to think of a 'hope'..including christians...

i noticed it's kinda true when i say even christians now dont really have the faith to believe in the word 'HOPE'...cz when they pray somehow after the prayer there's always ''what ifs'' or ''maybe...'' or ''it's impossible...'' in their thoughts...lol...is HOPE really that hard to achieve???well...as for me...HOPE in my definition would be when

I SAY

It's impossible

I'm too tired

Nobody really loves me

I cant go on

I cant figure things out

I cant do it

I'm not able

It's not worth it

I cant forgive myself

I cant manage

I'm afraid

I'm always worried and frustrated

I dont have enough faith

I'm not smart enough

I feel all alone

GOD SAYS

All things are possible

I will give you rest

I love you

My grace is sufficient

I will direct your steps

You can do all things

I am able

It will be worth it

I FORGIVE you

I will supply all your needs

I have not given you a spirit of fear

Cast all your cares on Me

I've given everyone a meassure of faith

I give you wisdom

I will never leave you or forsake you

BIBLE VERSES

Luke 18:27

Matthew 11:28-30

John 3:16, 3:34

II cor 12:9, Psalms 91:15

Proverbs 3:5-6

Phil 4:13

II corinthians 9:8

Romans 8:28

I John 1:9,Romans 8:1

Phil 4:19

II Timothy 1:7

I Peter 5:7

Roman 12:3

I Corinthians 1:30

Hebrews 13:5

and most of all...hope is i know when i die...the place where i'll be going will definitely be where God is... :D

JESUS IS HOPE

btw...this coming saturday...KLBC will be having an evengelistic concert...do come and join us...lol...there'll be games and exciting prizes and songs and dance and drama and many many more...it's gonna be cool and fun...lol...the details are as follows:

Date : 22nd August 2009
Venue : Main Sanctuary, KL Baptist Church
Time : ADORE09 Bash (4:00pm – 7:30pm)
Concert (7:30pm – 10:00pm)

in the end...

GOD BLESS

2009-08-16T00:38:00.002+08:00

*while attending a 3days 2nights khusus for ITPS student council representitives...written down in my diary*

Dear Diary,

i've decided to wake up at 5.45am...and i managed to be the first to use the bathroom...today's the last day...and i cant wait to be back home...will i miss this place??i dont think so...but i'll definitely rememebr the people i've met...now that we have their contacts and all...definitely will call then out when we have functions!!

i was right...most of them wont wake till like round 6.30am...am getting to talk more...but still quiet...among the others...not to say i cant...just some communication problem...lol...

hope the guys will wait for me...i dont know...i just felt safe when i'm with them...how i know them...i dont know...lol...

2009-08-15T23:13:00.001+08:00

*while attending a 3days 2nights khusus for ITPS student council representitives...written down in my diary*

dear Diary,

i guess waking up at 6.30am is still too late for me...i'm considering 5.30am or 6 am tomorrow...at least that's what i intend to so...wasnt a good sleep...cz they had the lights on yet too scared to sleep under total darknessunless there's some people teman me...

at least one good thing bout this morning is that i managed to shit...lol...cz usually i sont get to shit...more to i cant shit when i'm in places like this usually...Thank God!!as always...i'm still the timid me...cannot socialise with the others...wonder what's in their mind...who knows...mayb their just like me??

am waiting for a call from the guys...did they forgot bout me??hope not...i deperately need to get out of here...some fresh air will do some help...stucking under here will only make me think of things i dont want to think...what had i learnt??i need to be like those seniors...among all my group members...i'm the only 18 year old 1st year...crazy...they're all well-experienced...unlike me...wonder did alex made the right choice??haih...i so hope so...

wonder how's the vice's dad going on...he seems worried...we are worried...with this condition of the room...i guess i'm gonna need lots and lots of shampoo when i get home tomorrow......

*in the afternoon after the morning activity*

things are better now...i guess...just started talking with my roomates...and some othe rpeople...not to mention memalukaning myself...lol...sis sent her pic to me...very pretty/beautiful...hope she'll do well in her catwalk...

i dont know...i still cant really face them...the people....lots of thing they talked bout makes me confuse...what MAQs...IPTAs...IPTSs...i dont really know what they are...all i can do...is just keep quiet...i want God to be with me...now...

2009-08-14T21:22:00.003+08:00

*while attending a 3days 2nights khusus for ITPS student council representitives...written down in my diary*

Dear diary,

It was like my nightmares were coming back to me...the old sour smell of the room, dusty beds and pillows, soggy damped blankets (at least they were clean and smelless)...that's the reason why i always dont feel good when going to a government-organized-camps/khusus...everything's just so...scary!!

though the instructor said they wanted the students to experience how the Philipines and Indonesians felt when sleeping without air-con...but at least i believe they do wash their bedsheets and pillowcasess!!

and the thing that frustrated me most is...i still cant cope with anybody here...i just dont know how...not that i dont want to be the director of PR...i just dont know how to talk to people...haih!!!the others were good...they just seem to get along well with each other...how i wish i could do that..the thing is...i'm just too terrified of people........

chopped~

2009-08-03T13:31:00.008+08:00

just two days ago i was telling my friends that finally i've reached my target-to have my hair reached below my err...boops...for the first time in my life i've had such long hair...usually the longest i can keep was till just above my err...boops...lol...and i told my friends that i intend to go 'chop' my hair off by the end of the year...erm...i dont know...though many of my friends including my uni/college mates asked me whether or not i'll feel sad or like wasted if i 'chop' it off since i had my hair grown so long already...to me it's just...my hair...which...can still grow long...lol...i'm not the type who'd cry and shout just because i'm going to cut my hair off person...lol...just felt you know...sometimes...it might be good to have a new fresh look...

anyway yesterday sis went to TS for a hair cut...and so i was tag along...if you're wondering why on earth would we want to go to TS just to have a hair cut...well..basically it's because:

it's the only area where we can dont rely on parents or bro's fetchings.
i can get discounts if we have in TS...cool eh? :P
both sis and i have super thin hairs (though some call it fine hair...but still...kinda too fine already ba??lol...)
both of us have little hair...not easy to style...
our hair are not easy to cut and style.

so now you know why TS?lol...anyway after the cut...for the first time sis did not cry because of her hair cut...lol...last time EVERYTIME after her hair cut...sis would definitely CRY like mad because she's always not satisfied by the way the hair stylists cuts her hair...lol...so...hmm...maybe it's a good thing to go to TS...not bad...not bad...lol...anyway...when we went back...

mom:''yi??why so fast come back a?i thought you all want to hang gai hang gai??''

me :''oo...no la...cz sis went out with the wrong person already.''

mom:''..........................''

lol...anyway...yeaterday during youth i've learnt something-whether christian or not...just be yourself regarless of what the others think of you... :) ...so...yea...bye... :D

p/s:dint anyone felt or notice any hint?? :P

tada~ :D

yup...hair 'chopped'~

*first intension's to cut at the end of the year...but was 'forced' by sis to have a cut with her...lol*

finally

2009-07-31T08:47:00.003+08:00

and FINALLY

EXAM'S OVER~!!!!!!!!

man...such difficult week...lol...for me la of course...(=.='''early early dont want to study now come say difficult week...lol...)first of all...really want to thank God for helping me these whole week...i really do believe he did helped me in my finals cz in some papers i know i wont be able to answer the questions if not because of God...

secondly, i want to thank my mom for...always encouraging and comfort me throughout these week...and for not minding me bugging her every single night...lol...come to think of it...i think my mom's right le...i mean...she said something like :''ah girl a...i notice a...no matter where i go you sure follow wan hor...'' lol...kay la...the reason she said so is because since day one of exam...i've been going into her room to kacao her like...talk with her la...complaint how dead i'm going to be la...how irritated i am la bla bla bla...and then thursday mom changed to another room to mark her students's homeworks and dont know why...i just automatically went inside also...lol...and started kacao-ing her again...lol...she's a nice mom... :)

thirdly...i want to thank...those who has gone through the exams with me...cz...at least i know i'm not the only one suffering...lol...lame...i know...just kidding anyway...thirdly is thanks to loo...for telling me the definition of management...actually i seriously dont know the definition till loo told me...lol... :DDDDDD

btw...if anyone's expecting some short posts...sorry to say la...this one might be long man...lol...anyway...let's start from day one of exam...ahem...here goes...*hope i remember and know what am i writing...lol...*

DAY 1

had kitchen and restaurant operation...and the first thing i decided to do when i reached uni/college...is to isolate myself from the others...lol...reason??so that i will not stress myself out...lol...actually alex is the one who asked me want to go to the lobby and read a bit or not so kinda agree lo..though when we reached there joined by wilfred and helong and after that hein yew...instead of studying we chat and laugh and then chat again and laugh again...lol =.=''' cz i really dont know what to study...as in i dont know what to study about that sub...so...kinda gave up and almost pee on my pants the moment i step into the examination room...lol =.=''' ...but thank God when i open up my paper i managed to answer the questions...really thank God man...so...yea...that's all bout day one's exam..nothing much...just a normal thing most people will go through...lol...

after that stayed back cz wanted to study for tuesday's paper...but dont know why...as usual...me and my mates ended up lepaking more at uni/college more than touching the paper...lol... =.=''' went back home bout if not mistaken 3-4pm...after a shower had a nap(still can sleep a?!!!)till 8plus and then went inside mom's room to bug at her...lol...

complains+complains+complains=complainssssss

lol...bout how dead am i tomorrow la...will God help me or not la...bla bla bla...a sudden emoness...and mirically...mom was kinda cool bout it...she prayed for me...and asked me to just let things be as it is...lol...at first i was like thinking as if it would help...hmm...but it turn out...it does help...lol...had an early sleep cz was afraid of sudden black outs...i've been hearing of cases like this and gosh how i dont want it to happen to me...lol... @.@

DAY 2

had kitchen and hygene management...actually i read already one...but after reading it i kinda suspected it wont be as simple as what i've read so when i reached uni/college i kinda borrowed my friend's notes to have a look...turns out...i was right...lol...and with just half n hour's time...what can anyone expect to absorb?!and so when it's time to go into the examination room man you can just imagine me walking in like some retarded person who has done something wrong and is going into a room to be punished (huh??how does this got to do with the exam??? =.=''')..i mean that kind of fear...lol...but then again...somehow mom's words kept spinning in my mind ''just let things be as it is'' and man...i seriously dont know how to pray except the Jabez prayer...lol...and in the end it turns out...ok la...can answer la...lol...was just overly worried...hmm...this one not so bad...cz the HARDEST papers will be on the next day...TWO papers somemore...both also SUPER difficult...haih...i dont know how to study bout it man...

anyway...this time went back early so that i can concentrate on one in the afternoon first then the other at night...lol...and man...i think this is the first time my brain has ever absorb so many stuffs man...i mean...it's like...TONS of stuffs i had to memorize...and it's soooooo not easy...looking at what kind of person i am *super lazy* ...if i managed to memorized 2/3 of the definition regarding principles of management and about potatoes (do you know that potatoes are like total fat free?!rich in vitamin B3 and C...and is rich in energy...i think can be consider one of the healtiest food on earth man...excluding fries cz fries has lot's of oil/fat and is high in colestrol...lol...)and canapes and pates and terrines and sauces...lol...i almost broke down thanks to POM cz really...it requires lot's of memorization and my half-rusted brain kinda had to work like a non stop machine to sqeeeeeeeeeezzzzzz in all the things i memorized...lol...and yea...went to kacao mom again...just that this time i dint really kacao her cz she was tired and needs to rest early...and since i'm such a light sleeper which means that just a little sound/noise i'll wake up and there goes my sleep...very very troublesome you know...i've been like stuggling with that since young...haiyo...so now you know why sleep to me is like GOLD??back to the story...okay...since i'm such light sleeper...now add in the fact it's exam time and i'm sooo stress out and nervous...you know what that means??

light sleeper+preassure+nervous+stress= sleepless

lol...that's right...a sleepless night for me...haih...two words...ma fan... =.=''' everytime when i'm almost in deep sleep...something sure wakes me up...either a sound or some noise...lol...and there goes my precious sleep... =____='''

DAY 3

i think i drag myself to uni/college more than really walking there man...was like soooooo anxious that i kept talking to God bout other stuffs and kept imagine what am i going to do after exam and what kind of boyfriend i'd get bla bla bla...and then...somehow i thnk God really has some sort of a humour which i know i would never understand...He just out of a sudden asked me :''arent you afraid of your exam later?'' =.=''' ...here am i trying my best to forget about what am i going to face later and there He is asking me this question which makes me stunt and fear just get hold of me...lol...(hmm...i think i know why He asked that already now...lol...)and i was like :''aiyo...God a...not that i'm not afraid la...You know how scared i am now*i know He knows*ma???i'm just trying to distract myself from keep thinking bout exam later la...lol''if you can imagine the scene...it'll goes something like this:

a mad girl walking on the street towards the LRT talking and laughing to herself nervously...

lol...i think that's how people would see me ba...cz...there really is no one around me and i was like''God a...bla bla bla..'' and then ''God a...bla bla bla...'' and then ''God a...bla bla bla...'' lol...=.='''and the thing is when i reached uni/college,i was so shocked to see that no one was in any classroom and i thought exam has started...lol...really almost scare myself to death man...cz later i found out that they were in the student centre studying bout POM...lol...

anyway during exam...i prayed the Jabez prayer again before opening the paper and when i did that...i finally understand why God asked me the question whether i'm afraid for the paper or not...lol...cz...thank you Jesus...i was kinda able to answer 2/3 of the questions...lol...with...His help la of course...lol :D

and after that since i'll be having basic western and larder me and wilfred decided to go to the library to study...but again as usual(i think i really cannot stay with my friends during exam week la...lol...)...we kinda chat more than we study...and since tatiana joined us after that...things became worst...

chat+chat+chat+chat=no study <(@O@)>!!!

and since i hadnt had my lunch which i dont intend to have any since i'm not hungry...i decided to go to bread history to get some bread just to in case...and while walking nana(tatiana's short form...lol...)suddenly came along saying she was bored so she wanted to follow me...so fine lo...i dont really mind also...and while walking she suddenly asked me:''eheh...why you want to walk such a big round to go downstairs?? (i was walking pass the dian ti and towards the lift side which is a big round) and then when i stop only she realised where i was heading...the 'ladies'...lol...=.=''' and she said she'll wait outside...and when i came out i dint see her around and as i was about to call her where is she i realised that i left my phone in the library with wilfred...lol...so in the end i went down alone to get my bread while the poor nana was actually waiting for me at the lobby and when i dint turn out*i was buying my bread at that time* ...she actually went inside the toilet to see if i'm there...and when i still failed to appear she went to the library to wait for me and talk to her kai gor-wilfred while waiting lo...lol...

anyway...turns out the paper was okay...not easy...but able to answer them...thank God :D

and during the night...lol...somehow i think my brain could take it no more...it stops absorbing the things i tried to fit into it...lol...no la...actualy it still functions well la...just that i went and kacao mom again and got ditracted for chatting with her...actually is talking to her more...and yea...got distracted...lol...and maybe since basic pastry and baking's the last paper...i kinda got a bit overly excited that i kinda forgot that the paper's sooooooooooo NOT easy...lol...but anyway...after the hyperness...i got back to my emoness again...lol...and haih...one thing bout siblings who shares the same room with you...when you're scared or something you can always be assured that there's someone with you...but...when you want to sleep and they want to talk...plus the fact that you're a light sleeper...you can actually say bye-bye to your sleep...lol... =.=''' ...that's what i went through...sometimes i dont know whether to have a room of my own is better or a shared room is better...lol...

day 4

had my basic pastry and baking...lol...really not easy man...i dont even dare to expect much...only hope that all the papers will turn out well... D':

after that was kinda relieved cz finally all the papers are DONE!!!!!lol...meaning i've finished all my papers so it also means i'll start my hols on friday while some atill have one or two more on friday...and since i finished at 12pm and i'll be having a meeting at 4.30pm...it means that i'll be having like 4 n 1/2 hours of free time...so went down to get some stuffs and bought movie tickets to watch with hein yew and his friend which...ironically...i also knew...lol... :D 'public enemies' ....i like jonny depp...his acting is like...so good?!hein yew said he's always taking up weird weird roles to act...but to me...i think that's cool...cz most actors or actresses would rather take up a role which could make them look good and not crazy but jonny depp...man...i salute him lo...cz first of all...he's been taking up different kind of roles...good..bad...weird...crazy...and he really had potrayed those characters well...i especially like his character in the pirates of the carribean...that's what triggle me to want to do the pirates theme for my theme table setting...lol...yes...it's from God...cz He's the one who put that movie into my mind...lol...anyway...back to topic...secondly...he's quite cool if you get what i mean...i dont really think he's handsome or what la...but somehow he kinda has some charms which attracts people to want to see him...you get what i mean?? (can say 'no'???=.=''') anyway...entertainment mags said he's a good dad...so...extra points for him :D (lame...=.=''')anyway...conclusion??i like jonny depp... :) ..no...he's not my idol or something and i wont say i love him cz i dont know him...i only know he's a good actor...that's all...and i like him as an actor...nothing else...i know...i'm that kind of person...lol...

anyway...after the movies...went for the meeting and thanks to the absence of the secretaries...i became their replacement...lol =.=''' ...had to write down all the minutes and stuffs...lol...was supposed to start at 4.30pm...end up...4.45pm...lol...anyway...after the meeting...hein yew,alex,helong,wilfred and richmond decided to go to bangsar to have a night out and wong and i were asked to tag along...hmm...not bad...lol :) ...the plan was to drop helong and alex at helong's place first...and then the rest were to wait for sandy and richmond's place...in a wira?!!lol...four people has enough difficulties to fit into a car already and now a five?!wa...i had to like squeeeeeeeeezed down and under the passenger seats while hein yew's driving to helong's place and gosh...i think i could hear some of my bones cracking man... @@ (too much already la that sentence...lol...=.=''')

anyway when we reached richmond's place after dropping helong and alex at helong's place...dont know why all of us became sooo thick skin...some just go open up his laptop and play la...some played with his binoculors la...some open up his food and started eating like nobody's business la...some went and look at his dvds...lol...so em hak hei...thank God i bought a new facial soap with me since mine's finishing...so...get to bath first while waiting for the others to come...muahahahahaha...wore richmond's clothes...he wasnt a big size tall guy anyway...so it's no problem...except for the pants...man...too short for me lo...lol...

after some tome sandy couldnt make it so only left the 8 of us...met up with helong and alex after that and off we went to makan...at a mamak...lol...cz after that we went to a bistro called F.R.I.E.N.D.S and chilled over there...you know i kinda enjoy the environment there...relaxing and kinda cool...until the DJ decided to have the music loud and we had to like semi-shouted to each other...lol...it was a ladies night so me and helong get to have free long-island(a cocktail...which means...achololic drinks...lol...) and free refills...lol...was super refreshing man...the achohol was not strong anyway...so no probs...but since it was like getting late...i dont want to keep refill or not i'll be too full to sleep again...lol...but it was nice... :) ...chilling out with a bunch of friends...kinda played with alex's puffing stick and wasted two...lol...did not smoked la...just burned his cigarrete and see how long can it last lo...lol...

bout 11 plus we went back...starting from alex...and poor him...he forget to bring out his keys and richmond's staying over at his friend's place...so it means that alex is locked outside the house...cz he's staying with richmond...lol...and we had to call richmond and in the end richmond will go back to pass him the keys...or so i think...but he managed to get into the house in the end la...lol...and then after dropping helong,wilfred and wong...i was the last to be sent home...lol...hein yew kinda came into the house and stayed for awhile chatting and went back home to rest...lol...and all the while he was soo afraid dolly would bite him...hah...my dog wont simply bite at people one...lol...

anyway...after another bath again(i smelled smoke la...stinky...lol...)...went up to zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...but dint really sleep well la...

and that's all bout it...will be going to baskin robins a while more cz...ngek ngek ngek...today's the 31st and as many would know...baskin robins will be having a 31% discount on their ice-creams...no...i'm not going there to buy...i'm going there to work...yes...just today...anyway..not bad also la...at least got some income...lol...12pm-12am...gila siao right...but work hard gain 'hard'...lol :) ...so...yea...do enjoy this post (yea right... =.=''')...bye~~~~~~~

*holiday...here i come~!!!!!*

~\(≧▽≦)/~

28/7/09

2009-07-28T19:01:00.002+08:00

TWO DOWN, THREE TO GO...PRAYER IS NEEDED AND MUCH APPRECIATED...THANK YOU...

T___________________T

27/7/09

2009-07-27T22:01:00.001+08:00

ONE DOWN, FOUR MORE TO GO~!!!!